


Judas Is Scariest

by ProtoNeoRomantic



Series: I Want Another First Kiss [20]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Blood and Violence, Canon Dialogue, Dark fic, Death, Episode: s03e22 Graduation Day Part II, Episode: s06e17 Normal Again, Episode: s06e22 Grave, F/M, First Kiss, Horror, Insanity, Judas Kiss - Freeform, Not Canon Compliant, Subtext Becoming Text, creepiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-30
Updated: 2014-12-30
Packaged: 2018-03-04 07:26:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2986076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ProtoNeoRomantic/pseuds/ProtoNeoRomantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A first (last) kiss Buffy and Xander might have shared in season six if he had been a little more perceptive and she had been a lot more determined. (6 of 7)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Judas Is Scariest

“Hello!” Xander calls again. Still no answer. “Friends? Romans? Anyone?” Something isn't right here. Silence reins as he moves further into the usually buzzing Casa De La Super Chicks.

Buffy standing by the kitchen sink, looks alright but feels all wrong. She is holding a frying pan. An oddly cinematic touch, Xander thinks, silently ridiculing his own paranoia in an I-don't-need-to-look-under-the-bed sort of way. There's a definite horror movie vibe here. One that Xander is confident he must be imagining.

“Hey,” he calls out with what is supposed to be casual cheerfulness, walking further into the kitchen, coming closer and closer to Buffy. Within her easy reach. There is nothing to fear, Xander chides himself. He is being ridiculous. This is Buffy. His friend. The Chosen One. Eradicator of Evil. Defender of things that need defending. But when she looks up in response to his 'hey', he can't help peering into her eyes for reassurance. The look she returns is less than reassuring, in no way definitive. Like taking a quick peak under the bed after all and finding the space too shadowy to get a good look.

“Hey, there, sane girl,” he greets her, trying to keep it light, trying to convince himself that there is absolutely no reason for his every nerve ending to be screaming in panic that something is very very wrong. It might help if Buffy actually responded, like a normal person would. “So...” Xander tries again, wanting very much to be convinced that she is fine, feeling, in a vague way, frustrated that she is giving him so little to work with in supporting that delusion. “Did Willow get that antidote to you all right?”

Buffy hesitates a little too long. He is beginning to think that she isn't even going to answer his direct question. He's beginning to think that she really isn't in there. He's beginning to wonder who is, and what they plan on doing with that frying pan. “Yeah,” she says at last. “I'm better now.” There is no warmth in her voice, no conviction. Xander casts an eye through the dining doom, into the living room, towards the front door. It is impossibly far away.

Buffy's eyes sharpen. For a panicked instant, Xander knows she knows what he is thinking. Then her eyes soften and she smiles. Tears shine in her eyes. Tears of gratitude and love. “Thank you,” she says, with warmth to spare. “I know where I'd be without you to keep saving me, Xander.”

Xander is near tears of relief himself as Buffy walks into his arms and they melt into an embrace. Slowly, but firmly, she raises his face to hers. Before Xander can fully wonder why, she pulls him to her, one arm squeezing him, holding him tight as she claims his mouth in a hungry, passionate kiss. Her kiss sends shivers down his spine all the way to his soul, and okay, if he is being really honest, to his balls. The impossible possibility seems suddenly very possible. She is still kissing him. Holding him so tight he can hardly breathe. He is literally weak in the knees. He wonders if he's died and gone to heaven.

The pain is sudden and terrible. Like the look in her eyes as the kiss stops. His heart, he thinks, but can't process exactly what has happened to his heart. All he knows is that she has betrayed him and he is dying. He is dying, and somehow that means he has failed her. Somehow all this is his fault. Game Over, Harris. You fucked up. This is the last of Earth.

~~~~~

As the body falls to the floor, Buffy holds tight to the frying pan, letting the handle slip from his back as easily as it slid in. Like butter. How could she have ever thought that any of this was real? A dead body lying at he feet? Blood on her hands? Absurd. Laughable. Crazier than a giant demon snake. She will tell her parents about this later, and they will all laugh together. They will laugh themselves into hysterical fits and wipe tears from their eyes, sharing affection and joy. Happy to be reunited at last.

Buffy is not laughing yet. She is not yet better. There is one last thing she has to do. As if on cue, she hears the front door slam and the sound of familiar footsteps on the stairs. Her expression is grim, determined. But she makes sure to put a gentle hint of welcome and affection in her voice as she calls out, ready to face the scariest figment of them all, “Dawn?!”

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to Joan the English Chick (pisces@englishchick.com) for her transcription of this episode found at http://www.buffyworld.com/buffy/transcripts/117_tran.html , from which I totally stole the line about this scene having a "horror movie vibe" both because it does and because Xander would be the first to think so.


End file.
